Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Joys of Online Dating

I’ve found that online dating loses its appeal after about a month. That’s when the bombardment of emails from interested strangers goes from flattering to overwhelming and annoying. I’m currently in week six.

Top 5 reasons why online dating is currently sucking

1) It’s freaking time consuming. It’s seriously like a part-time job. I spend all day on a computer at work. Then I come home and spend at least an hour emailing, answering questions and pretending to pouring my deepest hopes and dreams to…strangers. I recently read an article about a company who does all this work for you. They do all the flirty, online banter and all you have to do is go on the dates. I would hire them if I had the cash to blow.

2) It’s overwhelming. I’m communicating with way too many men. I know it’s my fault, I could not respond to more of them, but they all seem to contact me at the same time and now I’m communicating with eight guys who I’ll probably never even meet. I just haven’t figured out how to weed out all the losers from the beginning. I really hate juggling and kinda suck at it...because it's overwhelming.

3) A lot of the dudes are losers. They don’t understand how to ask a woman out, or even get to know someone for that matter. Sending an email that says, “You should call me,” will not get you anywhere with me, because I will not be calling you…ever. Some girls my like that. I do not.

4) A lot of the dudes are losers. And rude. If I give you my phone number, please don’t call me at 10:45 p.m. on a Tuesday to chat for the first time. I’m sleeping. And then don’t leave a message. Then wait a week call again at the same time, this time leave a message but tell me it’s only OK for me to call you back if I’m up right now. If not, you’ll be contacting me later on in the week. Makes me think you’re hiding something, like a wife.

5) A lot of the dudes are losers. They are mostly ugly unattractive. And I’m not looking for perfection. Looks can grow on me if you have a good personality but, they can’t even bring that to the table.